I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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