I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
