what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
