I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize