I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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