i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
