He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
