ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
