your room smells of hookers.
And success
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
