he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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