Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
