If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
They have beer where we have blood.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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