I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
