And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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