ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
