just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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