mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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