So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
