Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize