We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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