If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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