You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize