oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
