she looked like the bat from fern gully.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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