Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
