were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
