You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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