listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize