went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
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My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
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Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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