So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i will never coherently bang her
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He passed out mid-signature
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
