Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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