just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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