scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
