I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my sisters under your porch take her home
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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