He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
