There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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