I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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