Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
