She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Randomize
