I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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