We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Randomize
