Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
