my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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