Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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