Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize