As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
