I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
