I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
there is puke in my bra ... again
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