Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
