what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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