ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
