I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
