he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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