are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm passing your future prison.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
