Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
