New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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