I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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