Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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