When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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