she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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